How do I love thee? : Review

How do I love thee? (Sonnet 43)

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 – 1861

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Sonnet 43 is the most famous poem of Elizabeth Barett-Browning from her book, “Sonnets from the Portuguese”. It is often said that her sonnets are inspired by the relationship of her and her husband. I like this poem for it concretized the idea of love. We see love as an infinite, boundless and abstract thing but through this sonnet, we can see how it can be materialized into almost something tangible.

It started with the verse, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways”. She decided to list the things she loves about him and describes them in detail in the following verses.

In the line “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height / My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight / For the ends of being and ideal grace.” She explains how her love for him is filling the dimensions of her soul (breadth, depth and height). Even if she could not see how far her soul extends, she is sure that her love is as great as her soul.

”I love thee to the level of every day’s/ Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.” Unlike verses 2-4 which describes her way of love to be very spatial; in verses 5-6 it is very grounded. She illustrates how she loves even the moments of silence, through the day (sun) and night (candle light).

“I love thee freely, as men strive for right/ I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.” In these verses, we can see two contradictory phrases. Men strive for the right through freedom. Because of our freewill, we are given a choice to do what is morally good or not. With her freedom, she loves him and for her that is the right thing to do. She loves him with utmost purity. Her love for him doesn’t require adoration or praise.

In the verses “I love thee with the passion put to use/ In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith”, she traces back the raw emotions she experienced as a child. The passion she holds for her old misery is as intense as how much she loves him. She loves him with a love as strong as a child’s faith; blind yet powerful.

“I love thee with a love I seemed to lose/ With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath/ Smiles, tears, of all my life” She loved him even though she loved other people and they disappointed her. She thought she lost this love to her “lost saints”. She loves him anyway with her whole being, all her sorrows and joys and her past and future. “and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.” And if there is any better way to describe her love for him, it transcends her life on earth. And if God made her choose, it will always be him, even after death.

-- Michaela Moraga